


My Dear Brother

by Jakinickster



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, Incest, M/M, Sibling Incest, fili is a bit oblivious, kili is a jealous bitter little brother, rated t for early chapters, there will be sex eventually, thorin isnt dumb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-02-03
Packaged: 2018-01-11 01:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1166834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jakinickster/pseuds/Jakinickster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili and Kili have always been close, and no one ever thought much of it when they were younger. But now that Kili is soon to come of age, the two find themselves reluctantly spending less time together, and on their own find their, well... not so brotherly feelings for each other as tensions rise and jealousy strikes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Fili!” Kili yelled, trembling in the corner of the large guest room. The two were playing hide and seek, and it was Fili's turn to search for him. Kili, however, found himself lost in the many rooms that spread across just one of the sections of Erebor's sleeping areas. 

Kili looked around, tears flooding his vision as he cried for his older brother. “Fee!” 

“Kili?! Where are you?” Fili's voice got louder the closer he got, and Kili heard his fast pacing down the corridors until he finally stopped at the room he was in, peering in the door way. 

“Why didn't you wait for me, Nadad?” Fili rushed in, stopping at his brother's side. Kili was still so young, and things others might find annoying, he didn't mind his brother's excessive crying and need of constant reassurance. He loved his brother more than anyone else, more than life itself and anything his brother needed or wanted, if he could give it to him, he would.

They were always getting into trouble. 

Kili looked up with teary eyes and arms wrapped tightly around him. “I-I got lost, Fee!” He sucked in a breath after every other word in a heap of streaming tears and a red nose. 

Fili smiled as he held Kili, hushing him and using his thumb to wipe his tears away. “It's okay.” He assured. “I get lost sometimes, too.” He pulled his brother up with him as he got up from kneeling. “Let's go back to the main corridors, brother—mother probably has something cooking for us!”

Kili sniffed, tears no more after Fili's reassuring words and soon a bright smile filled his features. “Okay!” 

 

-

 

Decades later

 

“Kili.” Fili whispered, head turning slowly. Kili, with his bow and arrow in hand, turned to the swordsman with a questioning look. 

“It's over there.” Fili gestured with a nod of his head in the hare's general direction. They were out there everyday, training together like their Uncle asked of them, and today they were focusing on Kili's archery training. He was an amazing archer, much better than Fili ever was—he didn't have the patience for it. He shook a lot. He loved the brute force of a heavy sword in his hands, but the bow did nothing but prove danger whenever he held one. He was a swordsman, but Kili—he was an archer, and a skilled one for his age.

“I have it.” Kili said, arms still as he pointed the arrow, hands gripped firmly on the front of the bow as he aimed, and let out a breath. The arrow flew when he relaxed his fingers on the arrow, and Kili popped up when it hit, something.

The thickness of the air was suffocating as they waited, and when they heard nothing, no movement or leafs crackling or branches breaking, Kili jumped up. “I did it!” He ran, and Fili, with a smile spreading along his face, followed behind.

There it was. Kili bent down to grab the hare by it's back feet with the arrow still lodged in it's neck. 

“Do you think they'll be proud?” Kili beamed with the question at his brother, and Fili only nodded. “Of course they will!” He slapped a hand on the back of his brother's back, jerking the dark haired dwarf forward. 

“Uncle especially will be proud, Kili.” Fili added.

“I hope so!” 

The two ran off to the main corridors to find their Uncle Thorin, and thankfully they found him with their mother as well. 

“Uncle Thorin, look, look!” Kili ran infront of his brother, and stopped just before their Uncle and Mother. He held the dead rabbit up with the biggest smile Fili had ever seen, and couldn't help but smile himself at his brother's achievement—his first kill. And to provide food was a great honor as well. 

“Oh, Kili-” Dis, their Mother started, filled with joy. “It's big for a first kill, my little dwarf! But please,” She waved a hand for a guard. “Get something to put it in, it's bleeding everywhere.”

Kili handed the hare over to the guard, and stood before them, ecstatic. 

“It's impressive, I'll say that much.” Thorin spoke. “But you still have a lot to learn, Kili. There hasn't been one sparring session with Dwalin to which you haven't been late to, or completely disregarded.” 

Kili shrunk at their Uncle's scolding, and Fili stood behind him with at least a few feet between them, feeling terrible for his brother. But he knew Thorin held reason, and Kili would have to learn. 

“I know, Uncle.” Kili looked defeated, like he always did as a child, but now.... now he was nearing adult hood, and that in itself meant a lot of things for a dwarf—especially Kili, who wasn't near ready for any responsibilities that came with being a grown dwarf. Kili wasn't a child anymore, and Fili knew their mother and uncle would make sure he didn't act like one anymore.

“You don't know, Kili.” Thorin stood, and Dis looked on with melancholy eyes. “You are nearing your coming of age, and that means you need to start taking on your responsibilities as a dwarf of the Durin line.” 

“But-”

“No! No buts, Kili, not anymore.”

“Uncle.” Fili stepped forward to stand beside his brother. “Kili has been trying, by Mahal, I'm with him everyday, I would know!”

Thorin sighed, fingers pressing to his temple. “That is the problem. You two are together all the time—by the Gods, from morning until night and night until morning—you both have only just stopped sleeping in the same room together!” 

Fili would mentally pin the blame all on Kili, but he kept it going just as much. They were inseperable, even now, and it was a hard change to learn how to sleep without the warmth of his brother next to him before he took his last conscious breath. But they got through that, despite every now and then when Kili snuck into his room and left in the morning. 

Fili and Kili stood together, as they always did, in silence and the older dwarf looked over and saw the trembling of the archer's lips and how his hands clenched into fists and eyes batted away tears.

“Now.” Thorin shut his eyes for a moment and took a calming breath before looking back at the brothers. “Fili, you are well old enough to find another dwarf to court and to bear children with. And with that said, you and your brother need to spend less time with each other and more time tending to your own responsibilities.”

Fili didn't like the sound of anything their Uncle said, and by the looks of it, neither did Kili. He didn't know why, but he didn't care to find company with any other dwarf than his brother. He didn't care for any of the female dwarves that threw themselves at him, and frankly, didn't know what to tell his mother, who was eager for him to find his One, his forever love, and to build a family and live happily ever after. 

“That isn't fair.” Kili protested in such a defeated tone, Fili wanted to pull him away from it all and tell him they could stay children forever, but...

Dis stood suddenly, beside Thorin. “My son.” Her voice was soft and she moved to stand infront of her sons. “You are no young dwarf anymore, and you have duties as fourth in line of being the King. You are of the Durin line.” She drew a hand to caress Kili's face, who looked on to her with hurt in his eyes.

“I..” Kili looked off, to Fili at first, and then to Thorin and finally to their mother. “Okay.” There was a certain defeat in the dark haired dwarf's voice, and Fili heard it, and his heart sunk. 

“From now on—Fili, you are to spend more of your time finding your One, and less fooling around with your brother.” Fili nodded to his Uncle, despite disagreeing fully. “And Kili—you will have sparring sessions three times a week with Dwalin, and two times a week with Balin for forging practice.”

“But I-” Kili started, but Dis cleared her throat, eyes firm on her youngest son, who immediately quieted and stood back with a straight face and low eyes.

“It's settled.” Dis stepped back. “Now, on with your day, enjoy it while you can, my boys—for tomorrow, you'll be well on your way into adulthood, Kili, and Fili—you'll be much happier once you've found her.”

But what if he'd never find her? What if she didn't exist, what if he already..

The fair haired dwarf looked to his brother, only wanting to embrace him and never let go. He didn't want anything else. Not even to find his One

But he smiled solemnly at their mother before the two were shooed off and left to the woods just outside, and they picked up where they had left off. Kili didn't shoot another hare, not after that. His aim was off for that day, and every day after that when his training with Dwalin picked up.

Things would be hard without Fili always by his side.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been days into his training with Dwalin, and Kili's whole body ached, but especially his hands and the joints of his fingers. He complained, but Dwalin wouldn't hear it, and the days dragged on, and without his brother at his side, it was dull and pointless. 

“You're not hitting the target, boy.” Dwalin scolded. “Again!” 

And Kili sighed deeply, growling to himself as he shot off another arrow—another unsuccessful shot, and he turned and slid a shaky hand through his messy hair in frustration.

The older dwarf sighed. “We'll pick up on our next session. Go rest, Kili.” 

Kili nodded, and after putting his bow and arrow away and slipping off his filthy boots, he made his way to the bathing quarters to clean himself up. It was late, and his aching muscles were in need of the hot water. He grabbed a change of clothes along the way, and a towel to dry, and when he stepped into the hot water, he groaned out.

It felt amazing. He relaxed into it, almost falling asleep if it weren't for the constant need to see his brother buzzing around in his head. It kept him awake, and Fili was on his mind more than he knew how to deal with it. 

He didn't understand why he and Fili had to spend so much time apart, but it wasn't so bad—not at night, at least. He visited him every other night, and they talked hours worth into the morning. It was one of the reasons he was so tired during sparring sessions and forging practice, but he didn't care.

 

-

 

It was supper time, and it passed quickly with Fili by his side. They both ate fast, mumbling amongst themselves in bouts of laughter and mouths full of food until their mother excused them with a sigh.

“Go on.” Dis said. “Fili, your Uncle and I have found a nice female dwarf for you to meet tomorrow in the afternoon.” 

Fili made a face. “I don't want to.” 

“I'm afraid it's not up to you, my dear.” 

“But mother, I'm not interested in courting anyone.” And he wasn't. That was no lie.

Dis sighed. “We'll talk about this later, go off with your brother.”

Fili was going to object, but their mother's hand flew up in an instant. “Go.”

 

-

Kili sat in between his brother's legs as the older dwarf ran his fingers through the messy tangles of his brother's long mane, sifting through the multiple knots while the younger of the two griped and complained. “Ow! It hurts.” Kili pulled away from the rough grasp of the swordsman's fingers, but only to be pulled back. 

“Don't you brush your hair after you bathe?” Fili pulled apart a large mat in the dwarf's hair so he could run his fingers through it with more ease. 

Kili tried to shake his head, but Fili's hands holding him by strands of his hair reminded him he couldn't. “No, why should I? It's just going to get dirty and messy all over again.”

Fili smiled, pulling fingers through various knots until they were parted with the hair he already de knotted. The dwarf's hair was surprisingly soft, only surprising because his hair was never properly groomed unless he did it for him, and with their lack of time to spend together, Kili's hair was taking the slack of it all.

“Ow-ow,” The dark haired dwarf's complaints grew quieter as Fili pulled through the remaining tangles until his hair was soft and knot free. 

Fili reached over to grab a brush and started to run it through Kili's hair with ease. It was nice that they had nights together at least, even if they were used to spending every waking hour with each other. 

“How have your sessions with Mister Dwalin been?” Fili set the brush down and separated the dark hair into three parts, and started from the top in one large braid down the middle. 

The younger dwarf shifted and sighed. “My hands are calloused and rough, and my feet ache.”   
o  
Fili tugged at his brother's hair, thumbing over the thick strands as he looped one part over the other. “Mister Dwalin isn't so bad. Just be glad you weren't stuck with Mister Grewin.”

Kili visibly shuddered. Grewin. That dwarf was a hell of a trainer, but brutal and yelled a lot—more so than Thorin, which was a feat in itself, really.

“You're right.” Kili said, and neither of them were prepared for the heavy silence that filled the air while the archer sat between his brother's legs, who finished the end of the braid, and clasped a bead over the small of the hair. 

“My turn.” Fili said, pushing away and turning around for the younger dwarf to start on his hair.

Kili frowned. “Your hair doesn't even need brushing, Fee.” 

The older dwarf chuckled. “Because it's brushed every morning and night.”

Kili yanked a piece of Fili's hair roughly, earning a 'ouch' from him as the other continued threading his fingers through his golden hair, loosely braiding it's length. They sat in another bout of silence as he pulled stray hairs into the three pieces, braiding it in to the messy up do. 

“Hey, Fee..” Kili's hands stopped momentarily, and he pensively stared at his brother's hair. 

“Hm?” 

Kili chewed on his lip—it was a nervous habit, and was why his bottom lip always had little red spots on them. Fili would always scold him and tell him no female dwarf would ever want to kiss him if he kept it up. 

“All done!” He pulled away, fingers letting the soft hair slip down and the braid nearly came loose when it hit Fili's back. “Oh, wait.” Kili quickly moved across the room and dug around in his drawer for one of his left over braid beads. He resumed his position behind Fili, who sat patiently, and carefully clasped the accessory around the thickness of his golden hair.

“There!” Kili moved back for a better view, tilting his head “I'd say it's.... uh, well.. decent.” 

Fili turned, and felt his braid. “It's fine, Kili.” He smiled warmly at the archer, who smiled back with a smile brighter than a thousand suns. It warmed him from the inside out, truly, anytime Kili smiled. 

That was probably the reason, up until his coming of age, that Fili was always a goof around his brother. He did it to see him smile, because when Kili was happy, he was as well.

Kili stretched his arms out with a big yawn. 

“We should probably go to-”

“Noooo.” Kili groaned, a bottom lip pouting out. “We shouldn't.”

Fili pulled a face. “Brother, you don't even know what I was going to say!”

“Well.” Kili started, pushing a hand into his knee to stand up. “If it went something like, 'We should probably go sneak into the kitchen to get some sweets.', then I wholeheartedly agree!” And Fili smiled at first at the absolute innocence of his brother, but the curve of his lips died down into a straight serious demeanor. “You know we're too old for that now, Kili.”

Kili didn't take well to his brother's scolding, and frowned with a pursed out bottom lip. “You're starting to sound like Mother.”

“Kili.” Fili stood up with eyes still on the brunette. He was disappointed Kili didn't understand what he meant, but he got it, he always got the younger dwarf. He couldn't be angry, so he simply sighed. “You know I don't mean it like Mother does.”

“It only means one thing.” Kili corrected him, with a bite in his tone. 

Kili was always the sweetest of the two, and that quality in itself got him out of a lot of things when they were younger. His contagious smile and happy go lucky attitude swayed even the most sinister of hearts.

“I only say it so you don't get in trouble, Kili.” 

“That is shite and you know it.” Kili pointed a fast finger at him before moving around him to the door, handling it. 

Fili's lips were spread tight and he turned with a deep sigh. “Kili, don't be like this.” He outstretched a hand to pull his brother back by his shoulder. Kili was angry, and looked like a dog that had been scolded. Fili's heart ached. His hand tightened, fingers pressing into his shoulder. “You know we're not little dwarves anymore, and we can't do the things we did when we were. We're older now, with responsibilities and, and rules we have to abide to—rules you know I couldn't care less about—but what am I to do, Kili? Tell our Mother no, and continue on acting like a fool?” 

Fili waited, and waited... and there was silence for what seemed like hours until the archer turned around with slumped shoulders and a sour expression.

“You know I don't want this, Kee.” He embellished the sentence with the affectionate nickname, and Kili looked so dejected. So hurt. “We're not dwarflings anymore.” 

“I know.” Kili sighed. “I know, I know. But it doesn't make it any easier.”

“It doesn't.” Fili shook his head, and pulled him in by the shoulder, hugging him tight with no sign of wanting to let go. It was a deep sigh that left his lips when Kili's arms snaked around him and pulled him in tight. 

It was warm in his brother's embrace, like sitting next to a warm hearth after being out in the snowy cold of Erebor in one of it's harsh winters.

He pulled away, however reluctantly and looked at Kili. “Let's get some sleep, alright? You don't have anything with Dwalin or Balin tomorrow, do you?”

Kili shook his head. “No.”

“See? It's not so bad, right?” 

“I guess not.” The younger dwarf smiled, and looked off before landing a swift lick to the blonde dwarf's shoulder. 

“Hey!” Fili grabbed his shoulder, rubbing it. “What was that for?” 

He didn't ever get an answer, only the flash of Kili's cheeky smile before the door was opened and closed before he could get a single word in. 

My Nadadith, was Fili's last thought before he closed his eyes and the first thing he dreamt of when he drifted off to sleep. 

 

-

 

Kili was up early in the morning, despite having nothing to do all day, thanks to his strict schedule with Mister Dwalin and Mister Balin. It was nice, though, having a few extra hours to add into his day. And today's day would be spent with Fili! 

The sun hadn't risen yet, so Kili sat in his room and fixed his hair up—for once—until it did. The braid that Fili did for him last night was still in tact, so instead of taking it out, he rummaged through his night table to look for a hair cloth to wrap his hair up into a lazy bun, for a lazy day. It seemed fitting.

Today would be a very lazy day indeed, but not an uneventful one, he hoped.

He left his room and went straight to Fili's, whose was right beside his. Before, when they had slept in the same room, their room was originally Fili's, and his was just a spare bedroom for guests or well, now, for him. 

It was rather hard for them to manage at first—them being just Kili, for the most part, being younger and more dependent of the two.

“Fee?” The dark haired dwarf called out, peeking in to find an already made bed, and no Fili. That was odd, Kili thought to himself. Fili was always a late riser, unlike Kili who was always excited for breakfast. 

 

-

Fili spent the majority of his days with Thorin, lately, who was intent on showing him off around the market place and the pubs in Erebor. For a reason he was painfully aware of, he didn't entirely crave the attention of any female dwarf, but it wasn't something he could really complain about when he and his Uncle sat in the pub, and two female dwarves sat next to him, seemingly pining for his company.

Though not that sort of company, he hoped. He'd never... 

“Where did you get those magnificent beads?” One asked. She had dark hair, and not very much facial hair—a little along her jawline, but that was it. The other agreed, smiling big and leaning in closely. This one was a looker, with red hair and a thick patch of hair on her chin and was blessed with fairly large breasts. 

“I, uh-” Fili stammered through the sudden attention. “They were gifts from my Mother.” 

The girls cooed. “Ohh, yes. Lady Dis is your mother if I'm correct?”

He nodded, and with Thorin sitting right beside him, talking with friends of his own, he kept his attention on the she-dwarves, though he'd much rather be back in the main quarters with Kili. He was more used to his brothers company than anybody elses, even his own mother's, but it never bothered him that he wasn't familiar with anyone else. The brothers were fine before their peers pushed them into spending more time apart.

But he made the best of what he had.

The girls swooned over him and his barely there beard—he had somewhat of a mustache, with heavy stubble on his cheeks and a small patch of hair on his chin. 

The red haired dwarf, who went by Gadri, was a bit older than him, and the other, 

 

Nagrima, was probably somewhere around his brother's age, judging by her lack of facial hair. However, in Dwarves, it depended a lot on age, but also family genes. Some family lines were not so blessed with bouts of facial hair, some even had more in other places, where they lacked in beards. It was nothing too big of a deal when dwarves were young, but dwarves around here could be cruel, and ones without beards and of age, got the short end of the stick and were often poked fun at. 

That reminded Fili of a time a month or two ago when he and Kili had come down to this same Pub, and had been minding their own business when he overheard a couple dwarves mumbling about his brother's lack of facial hair. He only had light stubble under his jaw, but none on his face, and it seemed like the only person that didn't mind, was him. Kili was a late bloomer, and Fili never questioned it, never cared enough to. Kili was perfect with or without a beard.

The girls continued to talk, and Fili had a hard time keeping up with them, but had enough fun, and it wasn't a total waste. He rather liked the dark haired one—maybe it was just the fact she had dark hair, he did like it more than lighter colored hair. And her personality wasn't beaming.... but by the look of satisfaction on his Uncle's face, he could tell this... this was what his family wanted of him. To find and settle down with a nice she-dwarf. And despite having no interest in any of it, he went on to talk about the one, Nagrima—when the two girls left, claiming they had chores to do at home—and Thorin couldn't have looked any happier. 

“She's quite young, Fili.” Thorin said, ale in hand, and noted the girls' physical attributes of the one called Nagrima. Her age and lack of a beard, and not to mention her strikingly similar color of hair to... 

“And?” Fili turned to his Uncle. “You and Mother asked of me to find a female dwarf.” 

Thorin sighed. “Yes, Fili. And other than her age, she seems wonderful. Do you like her?” 

Fili made a face to himself. “I met her not even an hour ago, Uncle. But yes, she seems nice.”

Thorin raised his ale, taking a large swig of it. His nephews could really be difficult sometimes, but Kili more so. He was glad he was left with Fili, because out of them both, Kili had next to no attention span and training him would turn him into a full time drunk.

“I'm glad.” He said, and he was glad, and he would turn a blind eye to things maybe his nephews weren't aware of for now—he could play oblivious.

But Thorin wasn't stupid. He knew.

 

-

 

It was just a little over two months until Kili's coming of age, and Dis and Thorin and the rest of Erebor was preparing for it. It would be reason for festivities and huge amounts of good food and ale, and every dwarf in Erebor would be there to celebrate. 

In the weeks to come, Kili found himself in the company of his friend Gimli, not paying too much attention to his brother, since said dwarf was no where to be found, ever. Any other times, Kili was training with Dwalin, and had just finished his forging training with Balin, so he had more than enough time to spend doing … well, whatever he wanted. But he really couldn't, though.. do what he wanted. Fili was never anywhere to be found, and the first time he did manage to find him wasn't exactly how he cared to see him. 

It was in the market, near the forge—Fili was helping Balin and another blacksmith, and there was she-dwarf he didn't recognize smiling behind Fili, who every now and then looked back at her with a smile of his own. Kili's heart shrunk at this, and he hurt and he didn't know why but he had to leave.

And he did. 

-

It was a few days after that, that Kili was missing the fair haired dwarf's company, and went off looking for him again.

He found him in the pub this time, and for the second time, with the same she-dwarf. Kili stared on, and for a split second, decided he'd go over anyways, because why not? It's his brother, and he was allowed to be in someone elses company other than his own. 

But, for some reason, it still hurt when he saw Fili pull her close with a snug arm around her waist, and the girl—Nagrima, was her name, apparently—pressed closed to him with a huge smile and gleaming eyes. Kili looked on, hands clenching into fists and that familiar hurt still lingered, and it didn't go away this time.

-

The third occurance, was three weeks from the first time, Fili had invited Nagrima over for supper. Kili thought the two were moving too fast for having just met a month ago. But he didn't say anything, not even when she introduced herself to him and he channeled every good bone in his body to muster up a half smile for the girl—no, but it wasn't for her, really. It wasn't for Dis, or Thorin or just to avoid awkward confrontations. It was for something, no, someone else entirely and suddenly.. he wasn't hungry.

“Your brother always speaks of you.” She says, and Kili doesn't even turn his head. Needless to say, Dis and Thorin weren't too happy about his behavior. And Fili..

Well, Fili looked at his brother, but Kili didn't pay him any mind either. He couldn't.

After that awkward supper, Kili didn't talk to Fili, or go looking for him. Besides, if he did, he was certain there would always be the same dark haired she-dwarf hanging off of his side like she always was. 

Kili was bitter.

-

They hadn't really sat down and had time together for about a months time, and it was sure taking it's toll on the older brother. 

Fili spent the lot of his time with Nagrima, his lady friend he'd truly grown to like over the past few weeks. She was good company, physically and emotionally when he needed it. She was kind, harbored a warm heart and a lovely smile and Fili was drawn to it like a mosquito to a flame. All of her qualities were familiar somehow, but he never did dwell on how her smile was so much like his brother's, or how her hair was messy and unkempt like his...

“What's wrong?” She would ask, and Fili faked a smile every time. Was it that obvious?

But each time he'd tell her it was nothing. He never told her that, in their time together, he thought of another—of his brother. My sweet brother. He thought of how he missed him, missed his smile and his two top teeth that were slightly crooked, and the mess of a mop he called hair that he'd braid every night. 

Fili often wondered if it was normal to think so often of him, even while in the company of a female friend. He was sure it wasn't, and that made it all the more confusing, and on top of that, frustrating. 

The nights he spent usually accompanied by his brother, were now spent alone, and that in itself saddened him. He and Kili didn't seem as close anymore. They never talked anymore.

He'd resolve it tomorrow, Fili told himself.

**Author's Note:**

> please give feedback. <333


End file.
